Expectations

By Mariam Likimani-De Cock. Photo by Siphumeze Khundayi

  Cries ring out, interrupting the humdrum of feet scuttling up and down the corridors.
Two sets of eyes stare down, tears well up within them as hopes and dreams, still in their infancy,  manifest themselves within.
One set looks up, blank and unknowing, tinkling with untapped innocence.

Your screams are filled with unbridled joy, small hands, small feet reach out as if reaching for the sky.
Coloured wings flutter just out of reach, and yet that crooked grin widens. Unfettered by thoughts of the life ahead.

14   Hair falls over your eyes as you try to hide the red of your blushing cheeks.
In the background the deep drone of your teacher’s voice is interrupted only by the harmonious giggling of a group of girls at a table nearby.
Your attention is brought back to the drone upon hearing, “As you all get older you will start changing both physically and emotionally. Boys will start seeing the girls differently, and girls, you will start seeing the boys differently.”
Again that uncomfortable, but oh so familiar, warmth returns.

16 The memory of that girl with the bright brown eyes and red yoga pants, invades your thoughts and with it a moment, a small flicker of delight.
As quickly, burning through the memory, the words, “That who lies with a woman as you would with a man is an abomination!” spat from the mouths of those you love, like bile.
A response to your questioning their disgust at those two women happily holding hands while walking down the street.
That all too familiar sense of shame creeps up, as you stare at the face staring back at you. Reflecting the turmoil within.
Hair now short, much to their dismay, sits upon a pretty face.
Or at least that’s what they say.

21   Hats rocket upwards as a choir of voices fill the air with cries of jubilation.
Your heart races as you scan the crowd of black gowns and smiling faces, clutching that hard earned scroll in your right hand, hoping to see them.
Hoping that today of all days, despite last night’s confession they would come.
They’ll be here! Won’t they?